


Another Ex Girlfriend

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [5]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared sees an episode of Dancing with the Stars, he suddenly worries if he will end up in Club Jensen Ackles' Exes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Ex Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> LJ Repost circa 2009
> 
>  
> 
> Beautiful artwork by ala_tariel. I love her for doing it!!! She just made it for me for pretty sake.
> 
> a/n:   
> I wanted some kind of reaction to Joanna being on Dancing with the Stars and out came Not Quite Slash!!! Yes We're all very excited.
> 
> I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend  
> I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend  
> I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them  
> I kinda always knew Id end up your ex-girlfriend
> 
> Im another ex-girlfriend on your list  
> But I should have thought of that before we kissed
> 
> \- Gwen Stefani

 

Jared Padalecki couldn't identify the difference between slam dancing and the fox trot if his life depended on it. His dancing style had been politely described as 'spastic monkey' on more than one occasion.

It usually wasn't a huge deal.

Except for when he was flying to Vancouver from Texas and the first episode of 'Dancing with the Stars' came on the in-flight television programming and he was subjected to Joanna Krupa floating with a dignity and grace that he could never even hope to possess.

For a grand total of two minutes he watched and was impressed before he remembered that the willowy blonde with huge boobs and perfect posture had banged the guy he was currently banging.

After those two minutes he was stuck on a plane with the very real realization that this woman, who was everything that he was not, was in a club that he now had great potential of joining.

Jensen Ackles’ Exes.

Joanna had hardly been a blip on his radar, back in the day. She had been the girl friend for a few months of a guy that he had started to be really good friends with and then she was gone. Sure everybody teased Jensen about his ex-Playboy girl, but really she was more an idea than, you know a peer.

But there she was on the same TV that you could catch him on, sure it was different genres and different channels, but that box totally could catch both of them on any given week.

Jared was disturbed. It didn't seem right.

Sure he knew that there were other girls and a few guys that Jensen had dated, some on the TV, some off. However watching 'Dancing with the Stars' was irrationally antagonistic.

For four hours he was on a plane with the thought of Jensen Ackles' Exes.

They were all beautiful and interesting. There was also the fact that none of them ever spoke ill of him, true they were all probably afraid of rabid fan girls, but all of them were sweet, called him an excellent lover and an all around good guy.

He knew for a fact that Jensen was a good guy, a great boyfriend, and a good enough lover that the word lover seemed inaccurate. Jensen took to sex like he took to acting, something he immersed himself in, making himself and who ever he was with totally into the moment.

And what a moment that was. Every moment.

Jared shifted. On airplane, actually sitting coach in an airplane, was not really where he wanted to think about Jensen's ability in the sack.

So he just thought about the other thing, Jensen was a great boyfriend, yeah he was busy as hell, but he was a good boyfriend, attentive, sweet, and apparently he broke up with someone he was as easy and effortlessly as he began to date them. In the end they loved him all the more.

In fact he was probably the best ex on the face of the planet. Danni still called to bitch about Chad or her worries about her career, or her thoughts on her mother.

Hell it was Joanna who told Jensen in the first place that Joanna was going to be on 'Dancing with the Stars.'

"Jo called," Jensen said hanging up his phone, and goddamned him for always being open that he was talking to one of the exes, "She's going to be on Dancing with the Stars."

Sitting on the plane Jared seethed a little about Jensen always getting the calls from Jo or Danni, Tani, or the other exes always with the cute little nicknames. Jared was also a little indignant, he never got cute little nicknames.

Jared sulked. His own ex girlfriends never spoke his name. It was mostly because they liked to pretend that the relationship that ended like a car wreck into a taffy factory had never happened.

And the one girl who he slept with randomly after he had broken up with Sandy called his bedroom antics that night 'freaky shit.'

Jared pouted more, because break up sex was supposed to be freaky, stupid drunken hook up.

So Jared pictured what his life would be like. Jared had way too big of an imagination.

Jared saw it all happening. He'd continue to date Jensen. Eventually he would make a mess out of it and Jensen would end things and that would be it. He would still talk about how great Jensen was and Jensen would just do that coy smile thing that he did.

Stupid Jensen Ackles and his freaking togetherness. This was Hollywood, he was supposed to be a neurotic mess.

Jared pictured the Jensen Ackles’ Exes meetings. It would be him and the bevy of gorgeous blondes and redheads, oh dear lord he was going to have to contend with Jessica Simpson at their monthly meetings.

What? Jared insanity was highly organized in is imaginary world.

Jared pouted enough that the stewardess gave him gummy bears from her purse.

They didn’t help.

When the plane touched down the first person that he called was Danneel, who was in North Carolina.

"Do I get a secret handshake when we break up?" Jared blurted out as the plane taxied down he runway.

There was silence, then: "Didn't know we were dating, Jared."

Jared groaned. "You know what I mean, when Jensen gets tired of me, when Jensen decides that I need to be put to pasture with the other ex girlfriends. You know I kind of knew that I'd end up with the ex girlfriends. I mean I thought having a dick or something would mean that I'm different, but I'm just going to end up another ex-girlfriend."

There was silence again. "Well this isn't exactly how I would imagine your freak out and I didn’t expect the one to talk you down from it, but okay."

Jared pouted because he knew he was spastic and messy, but he at least thought that maybe everyone wouldn't be EXPECTING a freak-out.

"Jare," she said in that soft voice that was too welcoming, welcome to the fucking club indeed. "Did you see 'Dancing with the Stars'?

"Stupid Joanna and her rack," Jared mumbled.

Danneel laughed. "Yeah she's a bit intimidating, try being the next serious relationship after that. I'm not having this conversation with you, you're not part of the club yet, you don’t get the scoop."

"Save me a seat," Jared muttered as he finally was able to stand up and take his bag from the overhead bin.

"I might have to put my club standing in jeopardy to tell you this, but maybe you should ask him what was the line, the why he broke up with Joanna," Danneel told him in hushed tones.

Jared pouted and exited the plane and he sighed heavily, seeing Jensen at the end of the gate.

"Just ask him, Jare," Danneel told him. "We really don't want you to join our club. We're perfectly happy talking shit about you behind your back."

Jared laughed in spite of himself. "Fuck you Danni."

He hung up his phone as he saw Jensen raising an eyebrow.

Jared just looked at him for a moment because seeing him again was the most amazing thing in the world, this guy, this guy was amazing, this guy knew him and Jared knew that hew as going to make a mess out of this relationship with this perfect guy.

But like hell he was going to join the 'Jensen Ackles Exes' club before he had to. However he needed to make somethings clear.

The first thing that Jared blurted out was, "I can't dance and it doesn't look like I ever will."

Jensen looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, "I hate dancing."

"You're good at it though," Jared told him, "If you want to sometime just know that I'm not going to look good doing it."

Jensen nodded, "I kinda had a three year preview of your dance skills dude."

Jared thought about that. They had hardly been strangers when they found themselves dating, living together, working together, and anything else.

"Why did you break up with Joanna?" Jared asked, and seeing as they were in the airport and it was public and they hadn't seen each other for weeks, this was a little inappropriate.

Jensen cocked his head and got that 'are you completely insane' look on his face. Jared liked to think of it as Jensen's look for him.

"So it sounds like you saw Joanna on 'Dancing with the Stars' and then you decided to call Danneel," Jensen said, "So you're kind of stalking my past. You do know that is probably the weirdest thing ever and you are so the girl in the relationship because that shit is completely insane."

Jared bit his lip, "I am insane and I'm messy and I know you're not, hell you're even pretty when you cry and I'm all slobbery and gross and..."

Jensen looked off into space and then back at Jared, "She fucking told you to ask didn't she. Danni is a traitorous bitch and for some reason she likes you."

Jared was taken aback, "Is this how you talk about us behind our backs, I'm so taking that to the next meeting."

Jensen gave him that look again, "What meeting?"

"The Jensen Ackles’ Exes meeting," Jared answered.

Jensen gave him a more incredulous look, this one was more like 'when did you get to be completely insane to the point where I'm going to suggest heavy antipsychotics.'

Jared just smiled, that look was almost exclusively for him.

Jensen grabbed Jared by the arm and pulled him behind the potted plant.

"What got in your head on the plane ride?" Jensen said looking in his eyes.

Jared pouted, "That I can't dance, that I can't even stand straight most of the time. That I am the least graceful thing on the planet. That I hate your ex girlfriend for being so goddamned perfect at what she does. What a bitch. Why are you so together and shit? Shouldn't you be thinking I'm nuts or that I'm psycho and going to be boiling your dog?"

Jensen just shook his head, "Because you're Jared."

And the accompanying smile was so sweet that it went to that statement went to Jared's toes. There was warmth and honesty and Jared felt a million tons of guilty forever thinking half of what he was thinking.

Then Jensen went on.

"She told me I could have you at work, but she got me at home, it was a lot longer than that and some of it was in Russian, but she pretty much told me that it was her or you."

Jared's mouth opened and he was speechless, until he regained his power of very verbose speech, "You didn't know I was interested at that point, I didn't know I was interested. You hardly knew me. Are you saying..."

"Friendship with you was more important than her," Jensen said so openly it was nearly impossible, "I knew what Jo could take and Jo knew where we were at in our lives. She liked the actor thing and I liked her dirty jokes and we knew that it would end."

Jared was a little confused, "I don't know where this will end."

Jensen looked down and rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't really either."

"This might end messy," Jared informed him, "Also I am keeping all your ex girlfriends if it ends."

Jensen grinned a little, "You want to keep my ex girlfriends if we break up."

Jared nodded, "I'm starting a harem."

Jensen blinked.

"Also I love you," Jared informed him, "I know we're standing behind a potted plant in an airport and I'm gross, I know you know I love you and I just want it clear that I intend to be with you for awhile."

"And you're keeping my ex girlfriends if you don’t have me," Jensen said with a smirk, leaning in a little.

"Yes," Jared said, settling his hands on Jensen's hips.

"I agree to your terms," Jensen said kissing him a little and he laughed deep in his throat, "No can we get you home so I can welcome you back?"

Jared smiled, “Sounds good.”

**

Jared really was too busy to catch Dancing with the Stars, but he sent Joanna a huge bouquet of flowers.

He had her ex boyfriend’s heart on lock down, it was only fair.


End file.
